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Dry Beaver

ArchieDear Archie and Angela:

I was taking a nice Sunday drive with a man I recently met, and we passed over a bridge that said “Dry Beaver Creek”.  His comment was … “OMG – no one wants to see a dry beaver!”.  OK, yes crude, but true for me when it comes to sex.
 
Guys have the “magic blue pill” to take care of any of their woes, but Women have a tougher time.  Even with all the lotions and potions available, somehow we are often asked, “aren’t you aroused enough?”, as if we are inadequate or not responding well enough to the Male’s advances.
 
For heaven’s sake, what is a girl to do (say)?
 
Signed, Dry Beaver Creek
____________________

ARCHIE:

Dear Creek w/o a Stream:
 
Archie is flopping around on this one! Dry Beaver? My, My!
 
Oh that happy road to expansive lubricity! Males from beyond our Wooly Mammoth Hunter origins, are always fearful of performance. That is, the low rating the Women might give him. If the Female isn’t juicy (enough), despite Mother Nature’s hormonal and aging effects on Women, the Male always blames his paramoure’ for something he thinks he lacks. Projection City!

And that, (with difficulty), to spell it out for all America, means the Male ego says: “Any Women I turn my considerable high octane sexual attentions towards (at close hand, would be another way to describe this process), automatically is supposed to moan, sigh, scream and just be juicy as Hell! (probably Heaven is more accurate ….here).
 
Now we know why the Deity invented and loaded us up with “spit”! …maybe sans grit….. but definitely natural lubrication. Plus the laboratory rats have commercially put on the market enough types of “Lube” that an 18 wheeler, waaaaayy up the Alcan Highway, with its ball bearings and drive-shaft, grinding uncomfortably, applied these new lube types, because of the frozen axel grease, could otherwise sail like an Oklahoma oil derrick pumping up the good stuff!
 
But enough about this “non-issue”, Ms. Dry Creek, urge your Lover to go to school on moving past 4-play to perhaps 6. Or, with some good sex manuals in one hand, tutorially, move up to maybe a 69-play that will heighten lust in all the right places and also past the judgment mode. Archie does believe that Men and Women each suffer from far too many mental checklists about coupling. Especially with 20 year old hard-bodies as mental models. Keep a couple of bottles handy but SEX was meant to be FUN!
 
Archie can only note his regrets if the 2 parties are under the sway of rigid prelates of some organized religion as its top be-robed clergy preaches sex can only be sanctified with impregnation as the chief goal. EGAD!  This is 2012 the last time I looked. Fun I say!
 
Signed, Archie (Whose chief icon was/is the Little Engine That Could!)

 

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