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Never Heard From Again

ArchieDear Archie and Angela:

I have had some very disheartening experiences with my internet dates lately; after cordial first meetings that seemed to go well (to me), the guys said good-bye and “see ya soon” but never called or contacted me again.  I’m not a bad looker.  What’s up with guys?  Where are their manners?

Signed, Left and Long Forgotten
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ARCHIE:

Dear “Left and Forgotten”;
 
Archie has two affirmations for you and five cautionary thoughts about “One and Out-ers”, as he terms these terminal trysts.
 
First, I want you to get up from your laptop, PC, iPhone, or crystal ball, or whatever medium you receive this answer to your question you posed recently, and go find a mirror, window, hanging chandelier or large eyes of your poodle and SMILE! You are one very lucky and good looking Lady!

Yes, you are well worth some well-mannered Male’s second chance, to capture your attention and persuade you he should be allowed to carry your royal divan across deserts, mountains and turbulent seas, just to be near your many charms and winning personality. Honest. Aren’t you glad these crude shoppers departed to find their Wal-Mart special niche’ Women-so unlike You!?
 
Secondly: Archie must repeatedly remind his audience, both Male and Female, that online dating is a gigantic indoor Mall, with thousands of attractive shops and come-hither signs and prose, as well as enticing window displays of all the fun, excitement, passion and wonderfulness residing inside with the proprietor/proprietress. Zounds! “What’s up with guys?” and “Where are their manners?” you ask in vain. Because mall-shoppers generally want to “Speed-Date” and run out of a shop with what they want of smile on the way out having not found it, smiling that yes! see how genteel I am in saying I enjoyed shopping, while having no intention of seriously returning to do so! Infuriating, but ohhh so time efficient.

Feelings?

This is a shopping trip with overtones of heart and searching soul threatening to overtake the right brain function (or in the case of Males, major changes in measurement of tumescence immediately). Archie exaggerates of course to make his point……..or does he?
 
Here’s Five Cautionary Notions to Contemplate L&F, before you open up “Shop” again to the extent you actually agree to take a flyer and meet someone Live!:
 
1.  Relationship Loss and Rejection experience must not be allowed by you to generate a steely glint, skeptical stare, or iron-clad heart as you meet and even have a good time, with the Men you’ve chosen to take that chance on, once again, to meet and sniff the residents’ pheromones and rate of eye-blinks as he brags about the size of his belt buckle.
 
2.  Recall all of the “attractors” that abound in You, L&F: Do you believe you have more than “good looks” (looker), as part of Your package? Then assess in early emails, phone calls, texts and then in the first meet-up, whether this Prince among other Males, striving for your attention (not unlike sperm wiggling, swimming and competing to reach Golconda….ok Bingo), notices these attractors and makes you aware he appreciates your personal charms and other attributes. That’s one important screening gage for you, prior to first meetings.
 
3. Please remember this (music swells here), L&F…… It’s not Personal, yet Everything’s Personal, as we shop ourselves around to a million other single folk out there, regardless of age and of geography. Retain your winsome smile and enjoy being You! Sometimes people make hundreds of choices as to dating i.e GO….NO GO……based on attractors even unknown by either party……. it could even be the timbre of one’s voice, the tiny hair floating with the breeze so delicately…. from one’s left ear……….. but I digress here… only slightly though. Maybe your right eyelid droops when you fleetingly check out your swelling dellecotage’….and That is annoying to the swain…….. not the latter view, but the former view finder.
 
4.  Archie must be brief here: Screen, Screen, or Scream!
 
5.  Make it a habit yourself, L&F, that you make a showing, however brief, to send an email or text as a follow-up to the Male you’ve just had a coffee, tea, but Certainly not Me..with: That shows class, good manners and who knows…… Males with loutish behaviors that you disparage, may learn too, what consideration we are all due, as we once again begin trotting towards a new high-jump bar and throw our hearts over in in measure, to be ready for a “Keeper”!
 
Best tip of the day?…. Left and Forgotten……… Only open your Mall-shop a few times a day….. or 4 times a week. That will dissuade a great many rushing and judging, “One and Outers”. Others who may value you more and be “subjected” to your screening, will  hang in there, show more of themselves in dialogues which you may have to prompt and re-boot, and keep “wiggling” upstream so to speak, when even the Deity might glance down (or across many galaxial planes), to  raise an eyebrow (or energy tic), at this lustful but humanly perseverance output by this species’ Males.
 
I remain fervently present and applaud you L&F for bringing this endemic ‘one and out’ issue to the surface for all our readers.
 
Signed, Archie

 

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