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Who Am I?

AngelaDear Archie and Angela:

I am getting ready to use online dating for the first time and am having a great deal of difficulty writing my profile.
Are there any “do’s and don’ts” that I should be aware of?  Would you make some suggestions for writing a “successful” profile?
Thanks for helping me out here.
Barry with the barren profile


Dear Barry,

This is a concern for everyone building their profile for the first time; it can seem like a daunting task.

Yes, of course, there are do’s and don’ts … mostly common sense.  Use proper grammar, sentence structure, and correct spelling.  Do give a well rounded view of yourself – work, family, friends, pets, hobbies, interests, and what you are looking for in a relationship.  Don’t talk about your troubles or things you don’t like, and what was wrong with your last partner.  Basically, keep the glass half full.

One thing you can do to get some ideas, is to search for other men’s profiles and read them.  That will likely give you some ideas. (Don’t plagiarize, of course, but taking the essence of a line here and there is OK.)

Show a humble confidence.  Don’t start out with, “I don’t know what to write here, or I don’t like to talk about myself.”  The whole exercise is to introduce yourself to a lovely lady. 

Generally avoid discussions about politics, religion, money, and sex.  But … if your choice of politics and religion is important to you and a deal-breaker if she isn’t compatible – list those in the profile multiple choice option section.  Don’t write a paragraph in the content section of your profile about it; save your opinions for an in-person discussion when the time is right.

Just try to be yourself and natural.  Talking about your favorite vacation can reveal a great deal about you without beginning every new sentence with, “I like to …”

Most of the major online dating sites also have a “profile helpful hints” section. Read that for some ideas as well.  Make sure you have a nice close-up photo of your face, and maybe an action shot or two (golf?).

Don’t feel like you have to write a novella all at once.  Write a few lines every day over time as you think of new things you want to reveal about yourself.  Have a close friend (preferably a woman) read what you’ve written and provide feedback.

Doing these basic things will put you in the right ballpark.  And, Barry, don’t sweat the details!


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