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One Time Charlies

AngelaDear Archie and Angela:

I’m a retired socialite and have dabbled in private enterprise as an entrepreneur for some years. I am just unhappy with the men I have screened and then agreed to meet for coffee and such. Although my body is pretty firm and my face looks much younger than other 62 year old women, it is on the intellectual, conversational and cultural elements scattered among the men I meet, that has me seeing a lot of one-time charlies!

Since my second divorce five years ago, I have set out to find my true love and last soul-mate. Instead I’m getting moles, mules, giraffes and toothless lions in men over 60-70. They may dress nicely, have expensive cars, and play a decent game of golf, but I think they’re basically looking to “retire” socially, after some courtship flurries of energy output to obtain a social and sexual health care-giver of sorts. What’s going on out there? I won’t compromise my checklist of important attributes that I rate each male by as we meet.

So what’s an older “girl” to do? There’s just too many women for the number of “nearly-acceptable” males my age.I would hate to think I have to show more of my impressive cleavage, or wear curve-friendly tight clothes around my hips to get more attention from men whose blood is still able to accelerate!

Archie and Angela: I need help!

Constance Saratoga, Florida
____________________

ANGELA

Dear Constance,

We would all rather be in a quality relationship than a relationship for relationship’s sake.  But closely review your “checklist”.

It is often necessary to revise it as we mature (and our potential partners do as well).  I mean, if you have “must have 6-pack abs” on the list, you are severely limiting yourself.  Perhaps “active” or “fit” is a better trait at this point.  Those will allow for the great guy who is fun to be around, but has a bad shoulder.

Here’s another idea:  Review your list of “important attributes” and give them a “percentage of”.  In other words, if you meet a man who you enjoy and he meets 80% of the items on your list – is that acceptable?

And here’s a third idea (my favorite):  Review the list and see if it is all physical, financial, social attributes and re-write it to state what you want out of it; how the physical traits make you FEEL.  So instead of “must be handsome”, make it “someone I’m proud to be with”.  Rather than “wealthy”, make it “someone who has enough resources to have fun with me”.  Get it?

I mean, in the end, you want something out of being in relationship with this person, right?  Is it fun, respect, romance, feeling good, feeling special?  How would the man ACT who gave you those things?  Maybe look at THAT as your list.

You are correct.  The older you get, the less eligible men there are who are available for single women.  Keep good standards – but perhaps there is only one thing that needs to be on that list …. “He makes me happy.”

 

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